Writing and Travel

Well it has been about 7 months since I have last written here. I had just gotten tired of the whole blogging thing. I realize now I really like the idea of having a blog but actually writing consistently in one is a different matter entirely. May as well try though eh? (Get ready for a novella)

When I started this blog as a weight loss blog one of my goals was to get in good enough shape to wear a bikini and go on a trip South. This has not happened yet. In fact I took a bit of a nose dive in terms of healthiness for a little while there. I realize now that part of my issues with the weight loss and healthiness the first time was because I was not fully in it then. I had been having in a long distance relationship with a guy for two years and he had just been for a visit when I began this blog and made all my get healthy goals. My mother asked me at the time if it had anything to do with him and I had assured her that it did not. I am sure I even believed myself at the time. I realize now that he was at least a big part of it all. Making changes that are part of an ultimate goal to please someone else is really a way to set yourself up for failure. And fail I did. I didn't fail spectacularly but I did stop doing many of the better things I was doing. I also started doing more things that were not as good for my body. Daily chocolate bars anyone?

I broke off things with the guy around the end of Febuary but I stuck with the habits that I had made for myself for a while. However because the proper motivation was still not there they slowly deteriorated. I was just not ready to make the change. Looking back through my blog the lowest weight I can find recorded is 192 in April. After that I never recorded any weighins on the blog. I was still working out and eating pretty good for quite a while but looking at some of my pictures I still hadn't figured out proper portion control.

Over the summer I did some of the couch to 5k program but I did not finish it. This was in preparation for the Run for the Cure at the begining of October. I am happy to say I did complete it and while there was a lot of walking I still ran more then I ever had before. I realized then that I really hated treadmill running but that I kind of liked running outside. I am to much of a wimp to do it in winter but come spring I might try some interval training again.

After I reached my goal of 5k my exercise quickly fell off the radar. I think I went to the gym maybe two times after that. So I wasn't eating very well and I wasn't exercising. The inevitable happened and I started to gain weight again.

About mid December I was reading some weight watcher tips for the upcoming holidays and I read something that really hit me. "There are so many great tasting homemade treats around this time of the year. Why would you waste your points on junk?" It really did cause me to do a complete 180 in my eating thinking and habits. Almost instantly in fact. It was like I was slapped accross the face. It was just such an obvious point that I really couldn't ignore it. It was also a concept that didn't just apply to treats at Christmas time. And I realized that instantly. I think the reason it made such an impact on me was that I was finally ready to make the changes that needed to be made. That little piece of advice and the fact that it made such an impact just alerted me to the fact that I was ready.

Quite a few things have happened since I last wrote in this blog and since my last attempt at healthy living.

I wrote a novel. Well It isn't quite what one would usually call a novel yet but it will be once I get back to it. In the month of November I participated in National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it is lovingly called. It is a crazy month of nearly nonstop writing. The goal is to write a draft of a novel that is at least 50,000 words long. I still find it hard to believe that I actually accomplished the feat I set myself to on October 31. Yeah, you heard that right. I heard about NaNoWriMo on the last day of Hal-Con (Halifax's Sci Fi Convention) and I decided to challenge myself. I think the longest thing I wrote before this was a 5,000 word paper in grade 12. We got something like 4 months to work on that. And it wasn't fiction. I don't think I had ever really written anything that could be called fiction outside of some very short stories I may have been assigned in English when I was younger. A novel seemed as good of a starting point as any so I decided to do it.

As I progressed through the month my typing speed improved and my confidence in myself grew. I realized that if I set my mind to something I could achieve it. On November 29th 2010 I reached my goal of 50k words and it was one of the greatest feelings of accomplishment I had ever had.

I haven't touched my draft since that day. I have thought about it a little and talked out some of my massive plot holes with friends but I haven't written anything down. Both my wrists and the story needed a break. There is still a lot of the story left to write. I have a feeling it is going to end up being about 200k long. Before writing out my 50k that number seemed like an impossible goal to reach. Now though it seems like I might have to limit myself to that much because there really is so much to tell. The problem is getting it organized and down in type.

I know that I will be doing NanoWriMo again in November 2011. In fact, I already have a loose plot line in mind. Considering I went in to last years with no plan or plot idea other then zombies I am already leaps and bounds ahead this year. Oh, and did I mention that my 2010 novel has absolutely no zombies in it? Yeah, that is because when you write NaNo you do not self edit along the way. When it came to the point where the protagonist was going to find about the zombies the character she was talking to said something completely different. Who was I to disagree? That one change, that one 'follow my instinct' moment led my story in a completely different direction then I had planned and the direction was a greater one then I could have ever imagined on my own.

The thing is I did imagine that direction. I imagined the whole story. Every single little word of it came from my mind. That more than anything is what utterly amazes me. I also think it is pretty damm good for a first novel or really for any novel if I will be so bold. It is a book that I would like to read. I am writing it for myself and every other girl (or guy) out there. There really is not many stories out there that I know of that are post apocalyptic with a female protagonist.

So the goal is to get a finished draft by June. This is so I can get my complementary print copy of my draft that you get when you reach 50k. It is also so I have a deadline because I know myself. If I don't have a goal I am pretty good at putting things off. After that there will be lots of editing and lots of getting options from some of the people who have asked to read it already. Then I will get it published. And I will be getting it published.

This might sound a little crazy but for as long as I can remember I have been imagining scenarios and playing out dialog in my head whenever I was bored or working at a menial task. I have done this without really thinking to hard about it. I was doing it again last night while I was washing the dishes and all of a sudden I realized what I was doing. I was writing. The only difference was that I was not transferring my thoughts onto paper or a computer screen. I would have sat down and started to write except things I was imagining was part of my story I am planing to write next year and one of the rules is no actual writing till 12am Nov 1st. Besides I had dishes to do. I will continue to let my characters develop inside my head until the time comes to start writing where everything will just flow smoothly onto the page. At least that's the plan.

There is one thing that may slow me up in finishing my draft. For 17 days in the middle of March I will be very far away from my computer taking a vacation. When I started writing this blog I had cited being able to wear a bikini this winter on a vacation somewhere warm. When I wrote that I was talking about somewhere south like the Caribbean. The thing is while I am sure it is very nice down there it is not where I really want to be spending my vacations. The whole going south to lay on a beach mainly came from the guy I talked about up above. It was not my dream and it probably never will be.

So I am not going to be spending my vacation lazing around on an all inclusive resort and I am not quite ready for a bikini. However that doesn't mean I have given up the going somewhere warm this winter. I am going to spend the last 17 days of winter touring Eygpt! I am going to be doing a tour with GAP Adventures and I am seriously excited for it. One of my friends is studying in France this year and I was joking around and said I would come visit him. Then I realized that I accually could do that if I wanted. With that realization in mind I started to think about where in the world I really did want to go and Egypt was far up on that list. So I decided I would go there. I was done wishing for things. I am done wishing for things.

I realize now that if I want something I just have to do what needs to be done to get it. Weather that is writing a novel, traveling around the world or loosing weight. That is why I know I am now ready to start over. I actually already have started over I just never reported any of it until now. Mid December after I read that weight watchers tip I considered joining up. After I did some research and talked with my younger sister and my mother I decided I didn't want to go that route. I just decided to watch my eating. Portions (for real this time), content and frequency. I have been keeping a close eye on feeling hungry, full and thirsty. When I really started to put effort in I was about 208lbs and as of this morning I was 202lbs. I also measured myself a couple of days ago as this will be a more accurate measurement of success. My exercise is still not really there but lunch time yoga at the office started up again today so I plan to do that twice a week as well as work myself up to the gym again.

Well this post is over 2k words now. I realize that few people will even know this is here let along want to read this. It was mostly a post for me and that's okay. It's okay if I do things for myself because I do matter.

Birthday

I can now call myself a 20 something :) I turned 21 yesterday! I had a little family BBQ at my parents house and my sister made me a fancy cake. It was her first time working with fondant, I think she did I pretty nice job. Plus it combined two of my favorite things. The colour pink and bows!

In terms of potlucks, going out and cakes I think I did pretty well this weekend. Yes I did indulge a little, it was my birthday after all. However, I actually served myself smaller portions and stopped when I felt full. That is something I rarely did before because I ate to fast for my body to resister that it had been fed. It may sound a little elementary but I have really had to work at chewing my food fully before swallowing. I am finding I enjoy my food a lot more even if I am eating less then I was before.

Gift wise I got some new makeup brushes from my sister, they are so soft and pretty. I love them! I also got a little picnic set (forks, cup plates) that came in it's own cute little bag. The star of the show was the tent my parents got me. I had mentioned wanting to go camping this summer so it was the perfect gift. Plus it is lime green! I will have to get some pictures up later of it.

Tonight I am going out for dinner at ChaBaa Thai and then to the movies for Sex and the City 2. I am excited to see the movie but sad that it will be over or I will at least have to wait a couple of years to see the next movie. Over the last couple of weeks I watched all six seasons and the 1st movie for the first time. I loved it! So excited. I even bought new shoes ;)

A walk in the Sun

Today was beautiful! I went for a little over an hour long walk (with a bit of running thrown in) to and around point pleasant park and back home. It was about 7.5 kms long. I Am going to try to up the running bits next time I go out.
When I got home I ate half a chocolate chip Cliff bar (ate the first half before I left) and chugged some water. I put the Cliff bar in the fridge before I left, was so chewy and cold, just what I wanted at that moment. Going to pick up some more of those!

When supper time came along I had some celery that was on it's last legs so I made some orange chicken and rice. It is loosely based on a recipe I read in a Rachel Ray Magazine in the fall. I don't really measure anything, just throw it in.

I cooked the chopped celery and onions with some garlic and cinnamon and a little bit of evoo.
Added a cubed chicken breast and some orange juice and let that simmer till reduced down.

Then I added it to some brown rice.
I usually make it with cranberry juice. I think I still like that better but it was still really yummy with orange. I even had enough for left over for Monday's lunch! I wonder what it would be like with the POM juice everyone talks about?

Time to get to bed!

First Real Week of Tracking

And my first real loss!

I tracked everything I ate and drank last week as well as the exercise I got. After staying within my calorie limit and walking for an average of 20mins every day I lost two pounds! I realize this isn't a huge loss but it is a start. And considering my ball parked goal weight is about 40 pounds below where I am at right now it is very do-able at this rate.

I didn't decide to change my lifestyle because I had a large amount of weight to loose. Some times that makes me feel like the struggles I have with my weight are less valid then other peoples' but that is not true. The truth is since I have been in my teens I have always been a little over weight. I have had troubles with portion control and did not get nearly enough exercise. The weight just kept creeping up. There would be periods where I would kind of try to exercise more or eat better but I never stuck with it.

It was only recently that I realized I really needed to change what I was doing or I would eventually end up with very real and serious weight issues. Part of what made me realize this was stumbling across this blog community. It was through reading the blogs of many other real people that I realized it was possible to live a healthy life for life and still enjoy it. This is a great community and I am glad to be entering it.

PS: I changed my blog name yesterday. I never really liked the old name and it was more of a placeholder till I could think of something half decent.

The last day...

That I get to eat solid food for a week D: I am not going on some liquid diet or a fast to loose weight. I don't think I would ever do that. What I am doing though is getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. All four of them at once. Ahhhh!!

I am glad the day is finally here considering the apointment was made 6 months ago and they have been paining me moderatly since before that.

This morning I ate some oatmeal for breakfast for 256 Cals. I also missed the bus I wanted to get so I had to walk for half an hour to work burning about 200 Cals. For lunch I will be having a pb and jam sandwich (Can you tell I was in a rush this morning?)

Tonight I plan to have some steak for dinner! Since I know I won't be able to chew steak for at least a week and I just stocked up my freezer with a bunch. The rest of supper will consist of all the crunchy veggies that need to be eaten up while still possible. I might even have some chips and salsa for a snack as my last bit of crunch.

Maybe while I am living on smoothies and applesauce I might drop a little bit of weight as a bonus. Gotta look on the bright side right?

Control

I didn't realize how out of it I really was in regards to food until now. I am proud to say that I am now being more aware of what I am putting in my mouth. I am also thinking of the consequences of what I am eating.

Up until I left work yesterday I ate:

• Yogurt, PC blue menu granola and strawberries
• 20 Almonds - This is the portion size that Jillian Michale's had listed in her book for a snack. 20 didn't sound like a lot but when I actually counted them out it was almost more then enough.
• Ham sandwich with romaine lettuce and 4 slices of cheese
• A PC chewy oatmeal cookie

Shortly after eating the cookie an email went out at work that there were "deserts" in the lunch room. And I stayed sitting at my desk!

When I actually thought about it I couldn't justify eating some square when I had just eaten a cookie. In the past I might have tried to lie to myself and pretend that the square could have been small and wouldn't have made a difference. I am a terrible lier though and the evidence of how much squares and all the little snacks I had been eating mattered was easy to see considering how few articles of clothing I own that I have been able to confidently wear recently.

Anyway, I stayed in my seat thinking about how I was going to work out when I got home. I knew I didn't want that time I spent working out to just go to canceling out snacks. It wasn't until later that day that I realized how significant it had been that I turned down the food. I also realized that the day before there were also snacks in the lunch room and I only took one even when there were others that looked quite tempting.

When I got home my apartment was freezing. This was quite odd considering I live on the third floor of a 150 year old building with stone walls three feet thick. As a result all the heat from the bottom floors comes up through the floors and it like like I have in floor heating. I never turn my heat on and usually have to open the windows while wearing a tank top just to survive. As a result of it being super freezing and being at a really good part in Memories of a Geisha I decided to hop in to bed and read for a bit.

Next thing I knew it was 7 o'clock and my stomach was growling. I wanted dinner but I knew if I ate I would feel even less like exercising then I already did. I had made the decision that Tuesday would be an exercise day and I didn't want to go back on that. So after two crackers with PB and some water I turned on the 30 day Shred DVD.

Day 4 whoo! I think the 30 Day Shred is supposed to be done for 30 days straight but #1 Even though the high intensity workout only takes 25mins I sweat so much that I have to take a shower afterwards of course and I really don't have time for that every day. #2 I don't feel like dieing at the age of 20. So three times a week seems like a good amount to me.

Work out schedule so far is:

• Tuesday - 30 day shred
• Thursday - 30 day shred
• Saturday afternoon - 30 day shred

The Saturday works really well because I usually like to go to the farmers market Saturday morning so I am already up and about and get home around noon. If I didn't exercise when I get home there would be a high chance of me coming home after being out in the cold and climbing into bed for a nap and then waking up late afternoon feeling like I wasted half the day. So I am killing 2 birds with one stone. Tuesday and Thursday seem like good compliments to Saturday plus they are my least busy days of the week.

I might be fitting in a day or two of running soon as I have a friend who wants to start running. Plus I am going to be doing run for the cure with girls from work work (Our team name is Techies for Tatas :D ) and while I know you can walk it I think it would be fun to be able to run at least part of the time. I am not sure about this though because I have trouble breathing sometimes even when fast walking in cold weather. This doesn't happen in warm weather or when I am inside though so I am pretty sure it has to do with the cold air. Not sure I want to get all the gear needed to run in the winter outside to go on to find out it won't work for me. This coupled with icy sidewalks makes me think it might make more sense to wait until it warms up to start running outside. Any suggestions or tips on winter running for noobies?

After I was all done my workout I was starving so I popped a little pot pie in the toaster oven and hoped in the shower. I then made a nice big salad with romaine lettuce for the side and snuggled with some TV for the rest of the night. All in all I think it was a good day in terms of progress.

Now to see how the pre choir dinner tonight goes. Wish me luck!

Wow I really need to learn to stay on topic or all my posts will turn into small novels like this one.

Weigh In

I know I should be in bed right now but I think if I wait any longer to post the results of my weigh in and fitness test I will chicken out.

On my way home from work today I stopped at Wal-Mart to get a scale and a measuring tape among other things that I have been meaning to pick up. I got the Weight Watchers scale which was on sale for 29 dollars. It is nice and simple looking and very light which is a good thing when taking things home on the bus.

When I finally got the battery to stay in the thing I weighed myself. I seem to have gained a bit more then I thought I did. Not the end of the world though, just means more motivation to loose it.

The fitness test did not go exactly as planned either. I can't do push ups. At all. Apparently my upper body does not contain any muscle what so ever. I did average on the sit up test(how many can you do in a minute) and the wall sitting test (back against the wall, legs 90 degrees and hold.)
I am waiting to try the the step test to check your palse. I am going to do that next time I am visiting my parents. There are no stairs in my apartment and I wasn't so keen on doing the stair climber in the hall way. I am pretty sure I will do well in that department though considering it takes about a minute of climbing stairs to get up here and I haven't died yet.

I also took mesurements and calculated my BMR (the number of cals your body needs to keep you alive.)

Here are the details.

Weight: 193.2
Height: 5'9"

Bust:43"
Chest:34"
Waist:36"
Hips:43"
Thigh 27.5"
Arm 13.75"

As long as I don't get home from work at 9 again tomorrow I will be trying out the 30 day shred dvd. Wish me luck!

Beginnings

Hello all :)

I have decided to start a blog for a couple of reasons. One of them being that now I have finished school and have a full time job. Full time jobs mean money and money means that I am going to take a vacation next winter to somewhere much warmer then Nova Scotia. When I am on the beach having a wonderful vacation I want to be wearing a bikini and I want to feel great doing it. Now don't get me wrong, I feel like I am in decent shape and overall I like my body but I would be kidding myself if I thought I was in bikini shape. Up until recently it has been impossible to find a normal one piece bathing suit that fits me properly let alone a two piece. When I found this site though I knew I had to get a bikini from it. I also want to buy some dresses from there but at those prices I want anything I buy to be things I can wear for years to come. This is the fun goal but more importantly I just want to get in better shape overall.

I have a moderately active lifestyle in that I live in the middle of Halifax in a third floor walkup. My fitness regimen therefore consists of walking everywhere and lots of stairs. I don't binge eat but I don't eat as well as I could. Ever since I have been a teenager my weight has fluctuated up and down and right now it is up. Most of my pants are size 11 but I have some size 13 that I have had to wear recently and they are getting to be on the tight side. I refuse to buy more clothing unless it is because everything I have to wear is to big (I would enjoy being forced to do this). So I am going to start eating better and exercising regularly.

To hit the ground running I have picked up the biggest loser trainer Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred DVD and her book Making the Cut. For the DVD all you need are free weights and a mat if your floor is hard. I already had some weights so I picked up a super cute Gaiam yoga mat. It is hot pink with lighter pink hearts on it. I figured I may as well like the look of my mat because I am going to be seeing it a lot in the near future.

I have heard great things about the DVD from friends and the book looked good when I researched it. I have read most of the book already since buying it yesterday and it looks like it will be a great resource for me. It has tons of recipes that actually look very yummy for healthy meals and snacks. I will do a more through review them it later.

The deal with the book and the DVD is that you work out and eat properly for 30 days (hence the 30 day shred title) and by the end of it you should be more lean and toned. I am going to stick to it for 30 days and chronicle my progress here. By the end of the 30 days I am hoping this lifestyle change will have become habit and will be something I can stick to for the rest of my life.

This isn't going to be about transforming my body by magic. I know that it will take hard work and discipline to achieve the results I want. But I do want them and am willing to put the work in to get them. This blog is to make me more accountable. If I say I am going to write about each day I will want to have good things to write. At least that is the plan.

Stay tuned for the initial measurements, weigh in and fitness test! O: