Well it has been about 7 months since I have last written here. I had just gotten tired of the whole blogging thing. I realize now I really like the idea of having a blog but actually writing consistently in one is a different matter entirely. May as well try though eh? (Get ready for a novella)
When I started this blog as a weight loss blog one of my goals was to get in good enough shape to wear a bikini and go on a trip South. This has not happened yet. In fact I took a bit of a nose dive in terms of healthiness for a little while there. I realize now that part of my issues with the weight loss and healthiness the first time was because I was not fully in it then. I had been having in a long distance relationship with a guy for two years and he had just been for a visit when I began this blog and made all my get healthy goals. My mother asked me at the time if it had anything to do with him and I had assured her that it did not. I am sure I even believed myself at the time. I realize now that he was at least a big part of it all. Making changes that are part of an ultimate goal to please someone else is really a way to set yourself up for failure. And fail I did. I didn't fail spectacularly but I did stop doing many of the better things I was doing. I also started doing more things that were not as good for my body. Daily chocolate bars anyone?
I broke off things with the guy around the end of Febuary but I stuck with the habits that I had made for myself for a while. However because the proper motivation was still not there they slowly deteriorated. I was just not ready to make the change. Looking back through my blog the lowest weight I can find recorded is 192 in April. After that I never recorded any weighins on the blog. I was still working out and eating pretty good for quite a while but looking at some of my pictures I still hadn't figured out proper portion control.
Over the summer I did some of the couch to 5k program but I did not finish it. This was in preparation for the Run for the Cure at the begining of October. I am happy to say I did complete it and while there was a lot of walking I still ran more then I ever had before. I realized then that I really hated treadmill running but that I kind of liked running outside. I am to much of a wimp to do it in winter but come spring I might try some interval training again.
After I reached my goal of 5k my exercise quickly fell off the radar. I think I went to the gym maybe two times after that. So I wasn't eating very well and I wasn't exercising. The inevitable happened and I started to gain weight again.
About mid December I was reading some weight watcher tips for the upcoming holidays and I read something that really hit me. "There are so many great tasting homemade treats around this time of the year. Why would you waste your points on junk?" It really did cause me to do a complete 180 in my eating thinking and habits. Almost instantly in fact. It was like I was slapped accross the face. It was just such an obvious point that I really couldn't ignore it. It was also a concept that didn't just apply to treats at Christmas time. And I realized that instantly. I think the reason it made such an impact on me was that I was finally ready to make the changes that needed to be made. That little piece of advice and the fact that it made such an impact just alerted me to the fact that I was ready.
Quite a few things have happened since I last wrote in this blog and since my last attempt at healthy living.
I wrote a novel. Well It isn't quite what one would usually call a novel yet but it will be once I get back to it. In the month of November I participated in National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it is lovingly called. It is a crazy month of nearly nonstop writing. The goal is to write a draft of a novel that is at least 50,000 words long. I still find it hard to believe that I actually accomplished the feat I set myself to on October 31. Yeah, you heard that right. I heard about NaNoWriMo on the last day of Hal-Con (Halifax's Sci Fi Convention) and I decided to challenge myself. I think the longest thing I wrote before this was a 5,000 word paper in grade 12. We got something like 4 months to work on that. And it wasn't fiction. I don't think I had ever really written anything that could be called fiction outside of some very short stories I may have been assigned in English when I was younger. A novel seemed as good of a starting point as any so I decided to do it.
As I progressed through the month my typing speed improved and my confidence in myself grew. I realized that if I set my mind to something I could achieve it. On November 29th 2010 I reached my goal of 50k words and it was one of the greatest feelings of accomplishment I had ever had.
I haven't touched my draft since that day. I have thought about it a little and talked out some of my massive plot holes with friends but I haven't written anything down. Both my wrists and the story needed a break. There is still a lot of the story left to write. I have a feeling it is going to end up being about 200k long. Before writing out my 50k that number seemed like an impossible goal to reach. Now though it seems like I might have to limit myself to that much because there really is so much to tell. The problem is getting it organized and down in type.
I know that I will be doing NanoWriMo again in November 2011. In fact, I already have a loose plot line in mind. Considering I went in to last years with no plan or plot idea other then zombies I am already leaps and bounds ahead this year. Oh, and did I mention that my 2010 novel has absolutely no zombies in it? Yeah, that is because when you write NaNo you do not self edit along the way. When it came to the point where the protagonist was going to find about the zombies the character she was talking to said something completely different. Who was I to disagree? That one change, that one 'follow my instinct' moment led my story in a completely different direction then I had planned and the direction was a greater one then I could have ever imagined on my own.
The thing is I did imagine that direction. I imagined the whole story. Every single little word of it came from my mind. That more than anything is what utterly amazes me. I also think it is pretty damm good for a first novel or really for any novel if I will be so bold. It is a book that I would like to read. I am writing it for myself and every other girl (or guy) out there. There really is not many stories out there that I know of that are post apocalyptic with a female protagonist.
So the goal is to get a finished draft by June. This is so I can get my complementary print copy of my draft that you get when you reach 50k. It is also so I have a deadline because I know myself. If I don't have a goal I am pretty good at putting things off. After that there will be lots of editing and lots of getting options from some of the people who have asked to read it already. Then I will get it published. And I will be getting it published.
This might sound a little crazy but for as long as I can remember I have been imagining scenarios and playing out dialog in my head whenever I was bored or working at a menial task. I have done this without really thinking to hard about it. I was doing it again last night while I was washing the dishes and all of a sudden I realized what I was doing. I was writing. The only difference was that I was not transferring my thoughts onto paper or a computer screen. I would have sat down and started to write except things I was imagining was part of my story I am planing to write next year and one of the rules is no actual writing till 12am Nov 1st. Besides I had dishes to do. I will continue to let my characters develop inside my head until the time comes to start writing where everything will just flow smoothly onto the page. At least that's the plan.
There is one thing that may slow me up in finishing my draft. For 17 days in the middle of March I will be very far away from my computer taking a vacation. When I started writing this blog I had cited being able to wear a bikini this winter on a vacation somewhere warm. When I wrote that I was talking about somewhere south like the Caribbean. The thing is while I am sure it is very nice down there it is not where I really want to be spending my vacations. The whole going south to lay on a beach mainly came from the guy I talked about up above. It was not my dream and it probably never will be.
So I am not going to be spending my vacation lazing around on an all inclusive resort and I am not quite ready for a bikini. However that doesn't mean I have given up the going somewhere warm this winter. I am going to spend the last 17 days of winter touring Eygpt! I am going to be doing a tour with GAP Adventures and I am seriously excited for it. One of my friends is studying in France this year and I was joking around and said I would come visit him. Then I realized that I accually could do that if I wanted. With that realization in mind I started to think about where in the world I really did want to go and Egypt was far up on that list. So I decided I would go there. I was done wishing for things. I am done wishing for things.
I realize now that if I want something I just have to do what needs to be done to get it. Weather that is writing a novel, traveling around the world or loosing weight. That is why I know I am now ready to start over. I actually already have started over I just never reported any of it until now. Mid December after I read that weight watchers tip I considered joining up. After I did some research and talked with my younger sister and my mother I decided I didn't want to go that route. I just decided to watch my eating. Portions (for real this time), content and frequency. I have been keeping a close eye on feeling hungry, full and thirsty. When I really started to put effort in I was about 208lbs and as of this morning I was 202lbs. I also measured myself a couple of days ago as this will be a more accurate measurement of success. My exercise is still not really there but lunch time yoga at the office started up again today so I plan to do that twice a week as well as work myself up to the gym again.
Well this post is over 2k words now. I realize that few people will even know this is here let along want to read this. It was mostly a post for me and that's okay. It's okay if I do things for myself because I do matter.
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